In today’s time, when our lives are in the clutches of the Covid 19 pandemic, which is at its peak right now, aggressive behaviour in children is absolutely relatable. The impulse comes with a series of actions taken without any forethought and is quite common in children as they are stationed within the boundaries of their homes in these tough times.
Children, especially toddlers and those up to five years of age show varied signs of aggressive behaviour, mainly because it is the most common way through which they vent out their piled-up emotions. They show these signs at the tender age because their brain is developing and responding to the outer world they are now interacting with. In preschoolers or small children, such behaviour is basically related to their lack of control over emotions due to which, they show spontaneous reactions such as impatience to wait for their turn, rushing into activities, getting angry easily. All this usually occurs in situations wherein the kids are hungry or when they are bored or begin to feel lonely or ignored.
Their attention seeking habit is also one of the main reasons they create panic and behave aggressively. However, you as a parent must not let this become a part of their personality. If not controlled at an early age, these impulsive actions can have major adverse effects on their lives. Do you know children who cannot control their aggressive reactions may find it a little difficult to adjust to social arrangement in which they thrive. Most of these children are often cornered by their friends, and even by adults because through their aggression such children create harmful environment for them as well as for the people around them. And it affects everyone physically as well as psychologically. All these children need is a little love and a tactful dealing.
Parents shape the personality of a child and mould him in every possible way. Children receive all their initial learnings and lessons from their parents and absolutely look up to them. It is parental responsibility to identify the signs of aggression and impulsion in their wards and then begin with formulating suitable steps to control it. Trailing are some helpful techniques that you as parents can adopt and parent control your child’s aggression. Read on –
A calm home – A loving home is the best cocoon for a healthy childhood. By maintaining a loving, caring and an understanding atmosphere at home you can positively affect the child’s psyche. A home wherein each family member is happy, shows gratitude and respect towards each other automatically becomes a happy place. Be very careful with your behaviour towards others in the family in your child’s presence. Children are like sponges, they often pick up and imitate your actions, so one has to be super careful with what you utter and the way you conduct in their presence.
Attention talks – Children may, at times, behave aggressively because they may not be getting the much-required parental attention. It is always advisable to respond to your child promptly whenever he shows up in front of you to do and say something. Give your adequate attention along with love and you will be amazed how the combination can keep your child on the right track and show a remarkable reduction in his tendency to show aggression.
Talking helps – These days parents are so engrossed in their mobile phones and laptops that they do not feel the need to qualitatively talk to their children. It is imperative to have a clear communication with your child to understand what is going on in his mind that are leading to aggressive and impulsive reactions. Screaming, getting angry, crying and feeling frustrated are signs of aggression, which come to surface when the child is feeling helpless and is unable to express his feelings. In a polite way, communicate with your child and ask the reason he is behaving that way. Let him express his views, but when he is doing that, do not get judgmental and start giving him gyaan. Make note of the problem areas and situations that lead your child to behave aggressively.
Parental controls on his online viewing – Observe your child’s television viewing period and always take a note of what he is watching on the television. Cartoon shows, in today’s era, come with its share of violence and aggression. Make sure the child is not over exposed to impulsive acts of violence on television, for he may easily get influenced by the acts shown. Kids try to imitate such objectionable actions in certain real life situations also. Be it youtube or television or mobile phones, keep parental controls on at all times, and later do evaluate what the child has been watching.
Explaining works – It is mandatory to make your child realise how his aggressive actions and reactions will eventually make him sad. Throwing or breaking toys are mediums of showing tantrums and these will impact him later, when the toy is broken or if he develops a sore throat as a result of his actions. Do explain to him that such actions may give him a temporarily relief but later he will realise. Further, do explain how always being in bad mood and throwing tantrums will create a not so good impression about him in front of others – friends, relatives, teachers.
Positive approach – Explaining the adverse effects of his aggression or impulsive behaviour through prolonged lectures should be totally avoided. It will be testing for you to control your anger and repulsion when you witness your child’s aggression reactions. It is advisable to keep calm and control your anger outbursts while dealing with an already angry child. Continuously approach the child with a positive frame of mind and focus on the remedial strategies to keep his aggression in check.
Inculcate what’s needed – It is imperative that you make sure the child indulges well in productive activities. Give him ample stationery to draw and make crafts, read books or do some gardening. All these healthy activities will channelise his energy towards something progressive.
Observe his behaviour – Do keep a tab on your child’s mood swings, to be sure to know how is his behaviour in different circumstances. You will have to keep a close watch on all his activities and his routine -such as while studying, watching television, dining with the family. His behaviour will help you understand his reactions in different situations.
Help him finish his task – There will be times when the child will lose his temper and react in a rather aggressive way, mainly due to his inability to accomplish the task in hand. Try and make things easier for him that may also prevent his unwary reactions. You could perhaps divide the work into smaller sections so that he can complete the task without getting angry or anxious.
Rewards and accolades – Time and again, do acknowledge your child’s efforts. Always be the first one to appreciate his actions and especially when he tries to control his aggression. Children look for our the validation from their parents, so it is all the more important to praise him as regains the self-control. This positive reinforcement will motivate your child to repeat good behaviour.
Kick out ‘expectations’ – Finally, as parents, do have only reasonable expectations from your child. Keep his age, and developmental levels in mind. It is absolutely normal for small children to react aggressively or on impulse as they do not have the cognitive ability to have control over their responses. As a parent, one must think from the child’s perspective as well. Put your sincere efforts in assisting your child to acquire self-control over impulsive actions, in a loving and consistent manner. Your love, support and trust will enable your child to acquire improvised peace of mind and will eventually make him life happier.